Getting a Family Ministry off the Ground
President of the National Association of Family Ministries (www.familymin.org)
You’ve heard of this thing called Family Ministry. Maybe you’ve seen a position called Family Minister in a large church. And you think, how do I get one started in my church? What does it look like? Are we already doing some of it? Does it need full-time leadership?
Start by doing your homework. Surf web sites like NAFM’s at www.familymin.org or the Association of Marriage and Family Ministry’s at www.amfmonline.com to see what is being done in family ministry across the country. There are as many ways family ministry plays out as there are churches! Go to a conference or summit and get counsel from the forerunners in family ministry. In addition, part of doing homework is taking a survey of your members/attenders to determine needs. That will help you know where to start, and help you vision-cast in step two.
Get senior church leadership to catch the vision. Put together a compelling snapshot of a future that has been impacted by your church’s emerging family ministry. If the top leaders are sold on it, they will sell it to the rest of the leaders and congregation. If not, it will usually just end up another program.
Identify a family ministry champion. If your church has the budget to carve out a full- or half-time position, that’s one of the best steps that can be taken. That’s how it happened in my church. The children’s/youth directors knew that they couldn’t spend time with the parents of the kids they ministered to, and yet they knew that the home was the key! So, during our church administrator’s plea for requests to the staff for the next ministry position hire, family ministry rose to the forefront, and I was hired. This person could be a lay leader with a huge heart for marriage, parenting, and other things that bring families together, too. Basically, it’s someone that’s going to live and breathe the creation of this new ministry. Resource this person with a budget to get started.
Pull together a family ministry team. I went about six months before realizing I was doing it all myself—bad leadership! I needed a sounding board. My team is called the Famteam, for short. These folks in your target group become value-determiners (shaping the philosophy of the ministry) and strategy developers (illuminating the paths forward). And, usually, they come through in a heartbeat when there’s an activity that needs to be supported.
Think big, but launch small. After developing a vision statement (Ours is “Families Functioning in the Fruit of the Spirit”) and a model for how you will get that vision accomplished, start putting some legs on the documents by initiating some activities that get you closer to your goals. Build short-term wins, and see what works and what doesn’t or needs to be tweaked for greater success. Advertise in all the ways you can around the church; keep family ministry in front of people. Here’s a list of some possibilities to get you started:
o An evening monthly family worship service
o Family Sunday School
o Family small groups that meet in homes during the week
o Family service projects in the community/family ministry trips
o Annual family camp/retreat (and/or family camping trips)
o Slash events (mother/son; father/daughter; etc.)
o Equipping Parents Seminars on relevant topics
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o Spiritual milestone observances (senior blessing; rites of passage)
o Marriage refresher seminars/date nights
o Family social events (i.e. ice skating; bunco)
o Developing a resource library
Evaluate, add to, and revise the plan. I’ve “killed” quite a few initiatives because they weren’t producing the kind of life-change to which it was intended. I’ve also done evaluation forms or follow-up emails to participants that have given me great feedback for enhancing the program to a new level of excellence. Make sure you have the capacity to sustain excellence before adding the next tier of your plan.
You cannot do everything, but you can start somewhere. The health of your families depends on it. Without focused attention, complacency leads to surrendered territory.